No, I did not drink. No, I did not smoke. No, I did not do drugs. No, I did not dance.
I did get my make-up done, borrow a friend’s outfit, get groped (twice), and walked outside in LA at midnight.
So where to start.
Smokey eyes aren’t my thing. In a way, I was hoping they were because who doesn’t look hot and sexy in smokey eyes? Me. I mean, maybe it’s because I’m not used to it, but I thought I looked a bit…raccoon-y? It was slightly disappointing, knowing that I can never pull off the look (nor can I pull off eyeliner, apparently fuuuuuuuuuuuuu Asian genes), but it was fun to try. Eye make-up is scary as hell, and I always fear that I’ll accidentally poke my eyeball or something OTL.
I don’t know what my friend let me use, but that concealer (?) thingy worked like…magic LOLOLOL. So that was cool.
Getting my hair curled was an…interesting experience. In retrospect, it was probably a really bad idea, because I have hair spray/treatment and I’m not showering until tomorrow evening, not to mentioned that I had my hair chemically straightened and wanted to draw it out OTL OTL OTL. Hopefully it will still be straight tomorrow after the shower! And, well, it made me realize how much I prefer straight hair over curly hair. Some girls can pull it off (okay, scratch that, a lot of girls can), but I’m not one of them. I feel…out of place in curly hair. It doesn’t suit me. (And it kinda bugs me that I can’t shower till tomorrow ajsflaksdj;flakjdfkja; T_________________T). But at at the same time, it was fun to try something new.
And the party.
Oh my goodness.
It is like in the movies. But worse, I guess. Because it’s real.
The music was way too loud, there were too many people, there was too much alcohol. And drugs. And cigarettes.
I saw people drink by the bottle. With coke. I saw girls wear extremely short dresses. There is a point where a dress should be a shirt, and should be worn with pants. I saw people who were extremely high. They had no inhibition whatsoever. I was torn between amusement and horror at the lack of…control, I guess? I saw people who were very drunk.
Overall..it was an experience. I’m glad I went, and I’m glad I went with the friends that I did. I didn’t feel pressured to do anything that I wasn’t comfortable doing, and with them watching over me, I felt really safe. It was also a really be learning experience for me.
At the same time, I don’t think that I’ll be going again. It just wasn’t…my environment. I didn’t “fit in,” though I hope it wasn’t too obvious. I couldn’t communicate. I was paranoid that Mom or Dad would call. Everyone seemed intimidating. Seeing real people who were drunk and high was an eye-opener. I mean, I don’t see them as bad people, like I was told to do in elementary school. A few of them were actually really nice and interesting. It just…makes me wonder, I guess. About them. About alcohol. About drugs.
About control.
I was really hoping to find someone who was 100% sober (so I wouldn’t be alone), but I didn’t. It was disappointing, but I guess expected. Still, I guess that as an “outsider,” it was still entertaining to watch everyone, even if it was a bit traumatizing.
It’s getting late, and I think I’ve said all that I needed to say. Good night!
