This week is my last week of mandatory education–my very last week of high school. And it’s not even a full week.
The nostalgia and bittersweet feeling are finally starting to kick in, I guess. It’s surprising, really. I never expected to be attached to the school; in fact, it was only a month ago did I feel a sense of relief of leaving the place I didn’t feel at home in. I don’t like my high school experience very much, if at all. I downright loathed the first two years, and my perspective only lightened up the second half of junior year and throughout senior year.
I think the only reason my feelings for high school changed are the people I’ve met and befriended.
During my freshman and sophmore years, I was a lost soul, wandering from class to class, from club meeting to club meeting. I couldn’t find a group of friends that I clicked with, so I became increasingly dependent on keeping contact with my friends from middle school, despite having moved away. (Or maybe, it’s because I kept in touch with them did my ability to make new friends suffer.) I despised my school at the time, and wanted nothing more than to move back to T——-, where I could be with my closer group. During freshman year, I was near suicidal, and I remember writing a journal entry on looseleaf paper saying that life didn’t seem to be worth it. In fact, the only experience that was worse than freshman year was the first three months of 6th grade.
Towards the end of sophomore, junior, and throughout senior years, I’ve managed to befriend several people who made high school so much more bearable. I found people whom I admire for various reasons, including compassion, academic diligence, confidence, and talent. Some of these people know who they are, while others do not. I’ll let them know when I sign their yearbooks. Although I don’t consider myself to be a part of any “group,” I have become closer with some people who are in them. It’s a relatively small connection in the scheme of things, but it meant so much to lonely me who had to friends in high school. Even today, remembering how I met the group makes me smile and cry (Thank you, T.T.!).
In addition, I met a couple incredibly wonderful teachers who shaped who I’ve become. I learned to grow a backbone, to express myself, to be myself. I found support in them when I couldn’t find support in anyone else, including myself. Ms. S———- and Ms. J—— have been amazing to me.
So, I guess, in spite of everything, I’m going to miss a few things from high school, after all.
