And she…destroyed one of them. She liked my 2nd one, but as for my first essay…
She basically told me to toss it. Because it’s too dull and doesn’t quite answer the prompt.
We brainstormed some ideas and I don’t know why, but I started…crying HAHA how embarrassing. The conversation brought up some things that I’ve kept inside for a while now, so I guess all that frustration just…poured out.
In any case, we agreed that since it was real enough for me to bawl cry just talking about it, then it should be powerful enough for the admissions officers to be emotionally affected as well.
And we agreed that the writing style would be a lot more consistent than what I have now.
I guess, in a way, that’s the kind of feedback I’ve been waiting for. I was never satisfied with my first essay, but kept it because I didn’t know how to connect my struggles to my aspirations. Hearing mostly positive feedback from people made me more content with it, but I’m not proud of that essay by any means. Mrs. J was the only teacher who wasn’t afraid to look me in the eye and say, “I don’t believe this. This doesn’t sound like you. Write something else.”
So yeah, I bawled, then realized that another student was sitting in class waiting for feedback on her essay, too. And then with NHS, some of my friends asked about what happened, but it’s hard to explain without making it look bad…
And now I’m trying to write another essay. And am failing spectacularly. All my frustration has gone out, so now I’m just left feeling exhausted.
