They say the learning curve is incredibly steep, and I’ve always believed that, but living it is something else entirely.
It’s crazy to see how much I’ve grown over the past 4 months. I’ve pushed my limits time and time again, learned more on the fly than I thought was possible (but always feeling supported), and could not be more grateful to have found a home within my residency program. I feel myself identifying more with the role of a physician and surgeon, and find myself being more at ease even seeing patients in clinic or consults for the first time. (The thrill of doing my first facial laceration repair on my own, while on call, was such a confidence boost!)
I won’t lie–I’ve also never felt quite so exhausted, especially during my time on-service. Time management is something I struggled with daily, and it was a chore to even scrap up a meal when I got home from the hospital. It’s also disheartening at times when I find myself without the energy to catch up on issues I used to advocate passionately for. I have to trust that this, too, shall pass.
That all said, I love what I do, and what I get to learn to do. I can’t believe that I get to do this for the rest of my life, and train at the most supportive residency program. I love the nurturing culture of my program, which is complemented by the autonomy that can only be developed at a county hospital and Level 1 trauma center during my off-service rotations. I love my co-residents, and am constantly inspired by their dedication to their patients, their training, and mentorship. They push me to do better daily, but have never left me feeling stranded.
